“If LOVE alone is just not enough”
– is a German book title by Thomas Schäfer.
Thomas Schäfer is a personal student of BERT HELLINGER, the German founder of
FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS or better: SYSTEMIC FAMILY THERAPY
Bert Hellinger has introduced a therapeutic method to the world, which can be extremely powerful and healing.
Acting on the level of the SOUL, beyond intellect and words, the therapy of our family system is one of the most beautiful and effective healing methods to date.
The fundamental insight is ‘simple’: there are orders of LOVE, universal laws, which can not be overcome by our will – as strong as it might be.
Only if we understand these laws and apply them to our relationships, LOVE can flow.
Let me quote Bert Hellinger:
“Many people assume that if we only love enough, love will triumph and everything will turn out well. This isn’t true. Sometimes parents must watch helplessly as their children,
although deeply loved, turn out differently than they hoped, perhaps becoming ill or addicted to drugs or tragically commit suicide. Such experiences show that, in addition to love, something else is necessary for love to succeed. What love requires is that we understand and follow the hidden Orders of Love…Many of these orders are hidden and we cannot observe them directly. They work deeply in the soul and we tend to obscure them with our beliefs, objections, desires or anxieties. We need to reach deeply into the soul, if we want to touch the Orders of Love.” – How Love Works
So…HOW can we understand these Orders of Love, if they are hidden?
HOW can we reach deeply into our souls???
SYSTEMIC FAMILY THERAPY
offers a unique access to the secret pathways of our souls.
Usually you would join a group of 5 to 20 people for a day, maybe a weekend.
You should have a problem in mind, which you really want to solve. Once it is your turn, you will present this problem to the group. Mostly the ‘facilitator’, the therapist, will recommend a few people in your life, who could be related to your issue. You will then chose members of the group to play the role of these people, place your ‘actors’ on stage in an order, which reflects your inner picture of the whole issue.
From here on everything will enfold almost ‘automatically’:
Miraculously your actors start behaving, speaking and moving like the people, whom you have chosen (whom they have never met!) and miraculously you are watching your own film… Even more miraculously, and different to your normal life, the ‘actors’ will be drawn towards a solution.
The therapist only helps, if the process gets stuck.
THIS IS NOT ANY KIND OF ROLE PLAY!!!
The process also unfolds, if none of the actors knows,the story and whom they represent.
A role-play takes place on the level of our conscious minds.
A FAMILY CONSTELLATION reaches our SOULS.
The solutions are often astonishing – otherwise you could have found them yourself 🙂
But you will feel an immediate relief, if the play on stage has ‘ hit the spot’.
Moreover, your life will have changed, before you’ll get home from the seminar!
The solutions on stage will affect every person involved in the process ‘automatically’.
The best explanation for this effect is the idea of ‘The Knowing Field’ by Rupert Sheldrake, whom I recommend to everybody, who is interested in the scientific background.
To all the others I’d simply recommend:
SYSTEMIC FAMILY THERAPY !